#656 Arguing about whether heaven will serve Chick-fil-A or In-and-Out (Part 1)
Forget emergent vs. fundamentalist.
Forget beer fans vs. teetotalers.
Forget small home church vs. megachurch.
The issue that is currently dividing the church in half is much more complicated:
Chick-fil-A vs. In-n-Out
For those of you in parts of the country or the world where neither faith-based fast food restaurant reigns, allow me to invite you into the fray. On the one side, you’ve got Chick-fil-A, a chicken restaurant founded by Truett Cathy in Georgia. On the other side, In-n-Out, a hamburger joint founded by Harry Snyder in California. (Can you sense the east coast vs. west coast tension building akin to Tupac and Biggie Smalls?)
Both restaurants are delicious in their own unique ways, but we’re not here to talk about that. We’re here to decide which restaurant will be in heaven. (I’m not sure where exactly in the Bible it mentions that heaven will have restaurants, but I do know one thing, Chipotle won’t be there. Charging extra for chips at a Mexican restaurant? The devilry!)
Now in order to solve this as scientifically as possible, because frankly all fast food heaven battles should be settled with data not emotions, I’ve collected three pertinent facts about each restaurant that should aid your final decision.
Today we’ll focus on In-n-Out. Tomorrow, we’ll talk Chick-fil-A.
3 Reasons In-n-Out will be served in heaven.
1. The food is unique.
If you ever tell friends in California that you are going to In-n-Out for the first time, please expect for them to pelt you with sentences like this. “I love that place! Make sure you order a “double-double animal style, sunset rising over Toledo Island 4 x4 to the eighth power of cheese. It’s not technically on the menu, but if you ask for it and click your heels three times they’ll make it for you.” They will say things like that to you because at In-n-Out you can customize your order any way you want. You’re a unique person made by a very unique God, why should your order be standard? Well played In-n-Out.
2. They have disciples, not fans.
If devoted followers is one of the pre-requisites for selecting a fast food restaurant for heaven then prepare to eat In-n-Out inside those pearly gates. In-n-Out followers are intense. If you ever want to test that out, just casually say this sentence to one: “I like In-n-Out, but it’s no Five Guys.” Then step back slowly and prepare to have blows rained down upon you.
3. John 3:16 makes a cameo.
Flip over a cup from In-n-Out and you’ll see “John 3:16” written on the bottom. It’s like a little Biblical p.s., as if the cup is saying, “Hey, I hope you enjoyed a deliciously cold beverage, but before you throw me away, don’t forget what matters more than all the sodas in the world, Jesus. Holla!”
Those are my favorite three reasons In-n-Out will be served in heaven.
What are your reasons?
What do you order when you go to In-n-Out?
Did I forget an even holier restaurant in near you that is more likely to be served in heaven than Chick-fil-A or In-n-Out? What is it?
(Stay tuned for the stunning Chick-fil-A conclusion to this post tomorrow.)
